This morning I hooted rather aggressively at a vehicle blocking my way. The car was making an illegal right turn from a compulsory left-turn lane and got stuck in the congested intersection, with me behind it. Mere minutes later, I pulled away at a four-way stop a few seconds before the car opposite me did the same. I had right of way so, instinctively, I communicated this through aggressive hand gestures aimed at the entitled driver of the other car.

And then I had the decency to feel like a fool.

I have, throughout my career, been forced into the company of some individuals who would block intersections in my career path. I have had to work with others who felt they had right of way and would cut me off, driving me to become aggressive or despondent. I was sometimes powerless against those so-called “snakes in suits” and would act instinctively; fight or flight.

But “[b]etween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” (Viktor Frankl) I briefly gave up my growth and my freedom when I allowed myself to react rather savagely in traffic this morning. I welcomed feeling like a fool, because it’s my trigger – my reminder – that I have the power to decide how I act. I don’t want to give up that power and join the snakes; I want to beat them. I want to see their actions through a lens of kindness, because kindness is what I value. And I want to take long breaths between the stimulus that might upset me, and the response that might make me veer off my values.

When people block your way or take advantage, don’t join them. Rather beat them. Not with the closest office chair you are able to lift – tempting as it may be. But simply by staying in control of yourself. You will never know greater power.

PS: This is obviously still a work in progress for me and probably always will be!